Oops! I forgot to get a Valentine again this year. Oh well, I now pronounce all of you my Valentines! Oh how lucky you are! So lucky that I will begin Valentines acts a day early for you! As my first act of being your Valentine, let me start by saying… wow you look amazing today. Did you do something different with your hair?
For my second Valentine’s act, I will give you a little history on how this so called “holiday” came to be. Well, there isn’t really any proof of how this started, but what is popularly believed, is a priest from Rome in the third century AD was jailed and sentenced to death for marrying soldiers in secret because married soldiers were thought to not be good soldiers. In jail, the priest fell in love with the jailer’s daughter, and when he was taken to be killed on the 14th of February, he sent her a love letter signed “from your Valentine.” So there you have it, you sick, sick, people! We are actually celebrating the death of a love that never got to bloom! To finish the history story, Romans had a festival called Lupercalia in the middle of February to officially start their springtime. In this celebration, boys would draw the name of a girl from a box and during the festival they would be boyfriend and girlfriend, and sometimes get married. Later the church wanted to turn this festival into a Christian celebration to remember St. Valentine which in turn, people started to use the St. Valentine’s name to express their feelings to those they love and/or loved.
Okay, I know I’m a horrible Valentine for ruining what this day is about. Maybe that’s why I can never get a Valentine. So let me make it up to you with my three favorite gift ideas this year and feel free to use them!
BAG OF DICKS: This bag of gummy penises is a great way to tell your friends, family, loved ones, or enemies to ‘EAT A BAG OF DICKS’. Sent anonymously with a stock message, this product will get your point across in a way that nobody will mistake. A tasty gift? Or just a funny reminder that someone should stuff it; leave the recipient guessing! You can even add glitter or penis confetti! https://dicksbymail.com/
NAME A COCKROACH AND FEED IT TO A MEERKAT: The El Paso Zoo is offering to name its cockroaches after peoples exes and them feed them to meerkats live on video through their WEBSITE and FACEBOOK page this Valentine’s day 2:15P Texas time. Names will begin to be listed on the meerkat exhibit and their social media starting February 11th.
VALENTINE’S MEMES: Sometimes the best gift, is the free one that someone else spent time on. So below are some of my top favorite Valentines day memes. Feel free to use them on your loved… or hated… ones.
Regardless of where this day supposedly came from, or if you have someone to spend it with or not, know that Nerd News Social got you. So be sure to tell someone you care about them, because St. Valentine never got to be with his love and freaking died alone! Tell us about your best and worst Valentine’s gifts/experiences, or your favorite memes, in the comments. Happy Valentine’s Day!
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